‹ Back

Initial reactions were that the 5-year-old to whom Bad Bunny handed his Grammy award during halftime yesterday was Liam Conejo Ramos, the boy who just returned home last week from Texas. Turns out it was an actor and the hand-off was an act. Which is not at all surprising when every second of the entertainment during the Super Bowl is choreographed and planned to the hilt.*

 

But getting back to young Liam, the judge who ordered him to be sent home was Fred Biery, United States District Judge for the Western District of Texas. I really like this guy.

 

Here are excerpts from the Order he issued in the case:

 

"The case has its genesis in the ill-conceived and incompetently-implemented government pursuit of daily deportation quotas, apparently even if it requires traumatizing children."

 

 

"Apparent also is the government's ignorance of an American historical document called the Declaration of Independence. Thirty-three-year-old Thomas Jefferson enumerated grievances against a would-be authoritarian king over our nascent nation. Among others were:

 

1. "He has sent hither Swarms of Officers to harass our People."

 

2. "He has excited domestic Insurrection among us.”

 

3. "For quartering large Bodies of Armed Troops among us."

 

4. "He has kept among us, in Times of Peace, Standing Armies without the consent of our Legislatures."

 

"We the people" are hearing echos of that history."

 

 

"And then there is that pesky inconvenience called the Fourth Amendment:

 

The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall issue,but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and persons or things to be seized."

 

 

"Civics lesson to the government: Administrative warrants issued by the executive branch to itself do not pass probable cause muster. That is called the fox guarding the hen house. The Constitution requires an independent judicial officer."

 

 

"Observing human behavior confirms that for some among us, the perfidious lust for unbridled power and the imposition of cruelty in its quest know no bounds and are bereft of human decency. And the rule of law be damned."

 

 

"With a judicial finger in the constitutional dike, It is so ORDERED."

 

Dontcha love it. Judge Biery had a prior case in which his humor matched his intellect. The case was 35 Bar and Grille LLC, et al. v. The City of San Antonio and the issue was the amount of bodily coverage needed by semi-nude dancers at bachelor party-type establishments. Judge Biery titled his Order denying a preliminary injunction, “The Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weenie Bikini Top v The (More) Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny Pastie.”

 

A few excerpts from that Order:

 

“To bare, or not to bare, that is the question.”

 

“[t]he Court doubts several square inches of fabric will stanch the flow

of violence and other secondary effects emanating from these businesses. Indeed, this case exposes the

underbelly of America's Romanesque passion for entertainment, sex and money, sought to be covered

with constitutional prophylaxis.”

 

And he concluded with:

“Should the parties choose to string this case out to trial on the merits, the Court encourages reasonable discovery intercourse as they navigate the peaks and valleys of litigation, perhaps to reach a happy ending.”

 

Like I said, I really like this judge.

 

*ICYMI, Kid Rock got caught lip-synching during the MAGA-only friendly, alternative halftime show. As John sang, “Nothing is real. And nothing to get hung about.”